My First ____ Review: First CD
Eiffel 65’s Europop
November, 1999.
A month that introduced us to Toy Story 2, The World is Not Enough, and Elián González, the Cuban Boy with dolphin friends.
But it was also the first month of the Italian Invasion.
That’s right, just like the Beatles had done 35 years prior, Eiffel 65 teleported to America as the millennium drew to a close, reaching out their hands to draw us into the CGI-rendered, vocoder-processed future.
A Strong Debut-Da-Ba-Dee-Da-Ba-Dye
Hey everybody, Matt here, inviting you into the past. My past, in this case. And speaking of cases, somewhere in my basement, I still have the case for the first CD I ever owned, Eiffel 65’s Europop. I have no idea where the disc is, but the case is still there!
As a youngling, and well through my adolescence, I seemed to be behind the curve on what music I was exposed to, and thus what music I liked. I recall playing various cassettes - yes, those - with such hot tracks as “I Like Sandwiches” and “Apples and Bananas.” Then there was my parents’ music, which wavered between Jimmy Buffett classics and (thankfully) some of the least offensive country artists in Tanya Tucker and Garth Brooks.
At times, I’d swipe the Billy Joel Greatest Hits Volume 1 and 2 set, falling asleep to Captain Jack (or River of Dreams if the radio was on). But by and large, I was floating by on the few songs that became relevant to every child of the 90s. Mambo No 5. Cotton Eye Joe. And Blue (Da Ba Dee).
Here’s the thing- I don’t even remember asking for the album. It was as if my parents knew, nay felt the cultural importance of this release. And lo, Christmas Day, western Kansas, my brother and I both receive portable CD players and one CD, he Santana’s Supernatural - shoutout to Rob Thomas’s enduring “Smooth” - and me Europop.
Songs, like certain smells, have the power to take you back, and as I re-listened to the entire album this past week, I was taken back to my youth. I was even prepared for the CD to skip on track 4, six seconds in. No issues in the YouTube era, however. So, let’s dial it back and adjust the tracking to make the picture a bit clearer. We’re looking back to ‘99, and we’re taking it track by track.
Blue (Da Ba Dee) - Just like the Baja Men would do only a year later, with “Who Let the Dogs Out?” (more on that here), the Eiffel boys started at top speed out of the gates, holding nothing back on the opening track. This is why you bought the CD, here is your gratification, enjoy it when Iron Man 3 comes out in 14 years. It’s a song for those who are sad, but still want to nod their heads to a hypnotic beat, with CGI aliens demonstrating to perfection. Blue car, blue house, blue velvet.
Too Much of Heaven - Consumerism and stuff, bad, right? This song lays it all out. It’s addicting, the vocoded voices are done to perfection, and while repetitive, it’s refreshing after Blue.
Dub in Life - That opening. It picks you up by your ears and drags your through swirling plasma prisms of light and dark, bass and synth. Vocals are okay, but the opening, just put that on loop. Sample it, someone!
Living in a Bubble - If you’re a fan of classical music, this has piano and strings. It’s also one that does have a certain “of it’s period” sound. It’s not bad, by any means, a different flavor. Just not as futuro-spastic. I mean, there’s a reggae section.
Move your Body - This one reached high heights, as did Blue. I can picture myself, a birthday party at the roller rink, DJ cues this up, Tony Glaze asks if I pee more accurate or less accurate. I skate away. And the beat pounds, relentless in the face of the awkward question.
Accurate, obviously.
My Console - I’m a Nintendo boy, always have been. This song never worked for me, still doesn’t. I’m a grown man(child), and I think this song is silly. Real opening lines:
We're gonna play the game
The playstation all day
With metal gear solid to tekken threeSo yeah. They also just spell out P L A Y S T A T I O N as “lyrics.”
Your Clown - Kinda creepy for a kid, but dang, this song is strong on the re-listen. Very Depeche Mode, the both the highest and lowest modification of vocals on the album. It’s deep and dark and slow, but fills you with a feeling that none of the other songs on the disc do. It reminds you of your humanity, you robo-babys.
Another Race - It picks you back up after slowing you down with track 7. Catchy and memorable. Heavily modded voices are definitely back.
The Edge - This falls into the realm of triumphant techno. Dreamy, light, positive. It’s repetitive, yes, but when you’re feeling great, sometimes you just need to repeat yourself over and over again.
Now is Forever - Was this on the CD I had? Shows you how much I cared for it. Slight feelings of Depeche Mode again, but only fleeting. A bit too long for its own good.
Silicon World - Think “Barbie Girl” for the edgy boys and you have Silicon World. It’s slow to start, but once the vocals really kick in, like REALLY kick in, a full minute twenty in, it bounces you all the way to the finish.
Europop - Title track. Kinda lame again. Lots of atmospheric sounds effects going on. Too much of that, not enough fun. But at times it reminds me of classic video game soundtracks, so that’s a plus.
Hyperlink - Is this about computer sex? Kinda, right? If you give it 15 seconds, it’ll grab you. Not in a scary, computer sex way, just by the ears. It’s fun and mostly bright. Not quite Make a Circuit with Me, but it still clips. Plus, they bring back some da’s and some dee’s, which prime you for none other than…
Blue (Da Ba Dee) (Extended Mix) - It’s what you’re here for, so here it is again. Enjoy. It almost erases everything you experienced, leaving only the songs embedded in your subconscious. You re-enter the year 1999 exactly where you left it. Are you the same? How long were you gone? Who can say?
I can say. This album clings to my memory like tight sweaty pleather pants. In the immediate years following its release, I would put hours into Perfect Dark, a game which featured heavily in a techno soundtrack. When Sims Bustin Out dropped on the P L A Y S T A T I O N 2, I cranked the techno channel in my sim’s pad, no matter the condition of anything else.
I love Matchbox 20, and their music holds up. But so does Eiffel 65. It’s not a guilty pleasure, it’s just a pleasure. It’s not like we left them behind, they were just moving too fast for us to keep up. Let’s hope we catch them again some day.
Matt’s Review - 80/90s
For focusing on tedious work or getting pumped for improv, the beats on many of the tracks contained herein are just what the robot doctor ordered. It’s not perfect, but it’s far better than you remember, well worth the listen, even if it makes you confront your strange memories of Tony Glaze.
