Me, You, and Meme Reviews: The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer
Welcome back to the meme streets of Amazon Reviews, where everything is made up and the reviews don’t matter. That’s right, it’s Me, You, and Meme review time, and we are finally letting this little banana slicer slide into our DMs.
If you’re new around here, there isn’t much you need to catch up on, just these few facts: We at Review Party Dot Com know reviews, and we darn sure know comedy. And that’s why we dissect these meme reviews.
These products that have become jokes, and while there is value in a joke review, there is also value in a legitimate and informative review. So let’s see how we got here.
Hutzler, Welcome to America
If you read that company name and though “huh, that’s kinda like a snazzy, hipster Hitler name.” And shockingly, you wouldn’t be far off. Having gained experience in his father’s housewares business, Lothar Hutzler fled Germany as the Nazis came to power, eventually landing in America in 1938. Since metals were all being used for the war effort, the American-based Hutzler turned to plastics, selling measuring spoons, funnels, and cookie cutters.
And looking at the famed 571 banana slicer, it’s easy to see how it’s little more than a rejiggered cookie cutter itself.
This is Bananas
Well. Yeah.
Looking again at the 571, many would naturally think “can’t you just use a knife?” When people are faced with illogical and confounding questions like this - or does a woman really need a pen designed “for her?”, do we really need a book to tell us how to avoid huge ships?, can we REALLY buy milk on the InTernEt? - these questions are posted online and spread like wildfire.
At time of writing there are over 500 pages of reviews, kicked off from what Know Your Meme calls the first satirical review, left in 2011 (though the product has been around since 2009). Since then, it was featured on Today.com and Business Insider in 2012, Huffington Post in 2013, Buzzfeed in 2014, ahem, Buzzfeed in 2016, the Daily Caller in 2017, and Brostrick.com in 2020.
AND, in 2016, one very clever lad published a book titled Best of Banana Slicer Reviews:
You know what the worst part is? And it’s not that some schmuck made money off an idea an idiot like me could’ve had. It’s that our boy Matthew Lutz (as he’s actually credited) isn’t quite so valiant, nor does he wield his pen fearlessly. No, he makes it clear that all names are omitted to “protect” users’ privacy. Bro, they’re posting online in a public forum. GROW A PAIR! (here’s hoping Matty Lutz sees this and gets off his mom’s couch to tweet at us).
So yeah, that tool made some cheddar, but what about Hutzler? This isn’t exactly a Bic for Her situation where the company realized they stepped in one deep, heavy pile. So what was their response to the furor?
Yeah, they’re laughing all the way to the bank. Also “Lock Her Up AF”???
ANYWAY, speaking of laughing, let’s take a look at some of those silly willynilly reviews that tickled our bananas so much. There are many reviews about marriages saved, or - oh, oh my! - about needing a 571 for bananas that curve the other way! The jokes abound. I mean look at this, for example:
You see that? Your grandparents are getting in on the joke! People are spending time not just leaving reviews or taking pictures, but they are making videos in the name of this meme review product!
But we all know the real proof lies in the banana pudding. Well, feast your eyes on just a sampling of the 6000+ reviews out there:
Ahh. Aren’t those just gems? What’s that? You don’t actually know whether to buy the product based on those jokes? Well sonny, therein lies the problem with Meme Reviews. How do you sift through the nonsense to actually make an informed purchasing decision?
Well worry not, for Review Party Dot Com is here to skew the ratio, if ever so slightly. Next week in PART TWO, we will provide a real review in addition to a funny review, since we are masters of the bit, after all. And hey, if you read all this way, did you know you could also be listening to a lot of this? That’s right! Head over to Episodes and find RPDC 75. Our voices will be waiting.
