Welcome, welcome to the exciting conclusion of Me, You, and Meme Reviews, the Raypose Leggings Edition! If you have no idea what’s going on, you should really go read the entry from last week HERE.

But if your life ticks away with every single page view, then fine, you can stay here and I’ll bring you up to speed.

Me, You, and Meme Reviews is the podcast AND blog segment wherein we, the intrepid hosts of Review Party Dot Com, seek out those products that have obtained a cult-like status, all due to their whimsical and widespread reviews, then we get the product ourselves and give it its fair shake with a real, legitimate review, as well as our own funny one.

Today, we finish off the Raypose pants made famous by Cory H’s review:

Over 21,000 helpful votes! See what I mean? That’s some well-seen reviewing!

And typically a funny review like this would spawn copycats and one-uppers, iterators on the joke, until there is a whole community of fake reviewers around the product. In this case, there are just a lot of reviews that mention seeing Cory’s.

Kinda funny, but not a new joke, not really a new story, either. But this does go beyond “that one review was funny, so I bought these myself,” and there are A LOT of those reviews out there, trust me.

Since there are so few jokey reviews, no copy-pastes of Shakespeare plays to wade through, it doesn’t feel as noble to leave a real review. But maybe this just means more people will see our fake one!

In any case, on with the show. The pants were bought, they were worn and tested, and these are our reviews.

My Meme Review

Speak to me, oh muse, of the amusing story of the boy on the hill, who, under the guise of a woman, tested the limits of land and leggings.

Cast out and alone, sans wingman, sans Icarus – for great Daedalus deadass said, “steer clear of my son!” – the boy strode off untethered, unyoked, but unyielding.

I am that boy. This is my tale. These are my leggings.

Through my Augean tasks, they have remained stable, clutching my flanks with their wine dark fleece.  

Just as pebbles stick to an octopus' suckers when it is dragged from its crevice, so these Raypose leggings stick to my crevices, clinging to regions nether and otherwise.

Whether I am pushing a boulder repeatedly up a hill or just out hiking, their waistband stays put and does not roll down. I wish I could say the same for the boulder.

Four Stars

Is that what you came here for?? Well- well just cool your jets! I still have a real review to get to!

My Real Review

Sizes these days can baffle me. I’m of average height and average weight, yet here I am, sliding uninvited into a pair of women’s medium yoga pants. And it is a great fit!

For the most part, clothes are just clothes, and no matter if a shirt buttons on the left or the right, if it fits and you like it, wear the heck out of it!

But the thing is, women wear their leggings a touch higher than most manly men, meaning when I pulled these up to a reasonable height, they gave me a no-ass. I don’t mean to sound crass, but if I’m wearing something construction paper thin, I want it to highlight, not hide every contour of my body; I don’t want saggy, sad drapery, drooping around the fun zone.

So I had to do what any self-centered man would do, I hiked those suckers up, and BAM, the booty popped. It also felt a bit more snug betwixt the legs, but we sacrifice for vanity around here.

Running and jumping, through stretches and sit-ups, these things held tight and did what I expected. Apart from not having a very useful pocket.

Do they have an anti-tree and rock enchantment? They aren’t indestructible, as a few frayed threads can attest to, though my leg sustained a nice scratch, while the leggings, surprisingly, did not lose any blood.

The main thing I want to say is, I see you Cory. A Player always knows when they’re being played. And I want you to know, I can be just as self-effacing and real in a review, while also showing off my b-b-b-big caboose. You may have a head start on the Helpful votes, but this boy ain’t afraid to climb up hill.

Four Stars

Oh? What’s that? You’re saying I threw the gauntlet pretty hard there, so I better put up or shut up? Fine. You win.

You total sicko, you total psycho, you total butt-fiend. I hope you’re happy.

If this isn’t what you were looking for and maybe you were just interested in the facts, you can LISTEN to all this instead of SEEING it. Just go up to Episodes and find RPDC 121: A Severe Mustache.

That’s all for now, folks! Say cheeky!