Let’s just get this disclaimer out of the way: MURDER IS BAD. I hope we can all agree on that. We can, right?

Okay, good. On with the blog.

Reviews. Reviews are inherently good. You give your insight and experiences to others, free of charge, and act as a steward for their money and time. A good review lets me know what to expect, or what to pass up. Will the restaurant satiate my hunger? Will the hotel give me a good night’s sleep? Will the masseuse bend me like she’s stress-testing an action figure? Golly, I hope so!

And you can count on it that if my butt has never felt better, if my gut is full of the finest foods, and if my bed rested more than my head, I am going to tell people about it.

As much as I might like to keep the secret to myself, the supreme level of service demands reward, it demands a spotlight.

But what about the security firm you hire to kidnap and kill your mistress and her lover who is threatening extortion? I mean, I’m just thinking out loud here, but maybe that’s something you keep on the downlow, no?

NO WAY, FIVE STARS ON GOOGLE!

I mean, you knew where this was going. You saw the title, you saw the lead image. Yeah, this man, Erik Charles Maund did the dumb.

If you want a few more details, here’s how it went down:

• Maund, a married man and partner at Maund Automotive Group, planned to meet up with his ex-girlfriend, Holly Williams, on a trip to Nashville

• William Lanway, Ms. Williams’ current beau, found out and threatened to expose Maund, demanding money

• Maund hired Gilad Peled, owner of Austin-based security company SpearTip Security Services, as well as Bryon Brockway and Adam Carey in order “respond to extortion demands”

• Brockway and Carey kidnapped, threatened, and killed both Williams and Lanway, dumping their bodies at a construction site

• Sidebar - are we turning into a true crime podcast or what?

• And FINALLY, Maund and Brockway left FIVE STAR REVIEWS of SpearTip Security, on Google, in full view of, well, anyone with internet access

Yeah. They- they really did that. Here’s the pudding, here’s the proof:

And the owner (their buddy Peled) responded, because of course he did.

Long story short, all four guys were caught, and they could face life in prison. As they deserve.

But isn’t that just mind-numbingly idiotic? It’s not like you got your car detailed, or you took a sex class or something. This is a crime! You paid close to a million bucks to make your problems “go away” (Maund also attempted to pay Brockway to kill Carey, after Carey demanded more money), SO, I think that everyone could’ve been just fine without the help of a few five star reviews.

I guess we’ll never know.